The holidays carry a special kind of magic. Streets glow with lights, the air fills with familiar scents, and people gather in warm spaces to share laughter. Yet for those with a loved one deployed, this season can also carry a quiet ache. The absence of someone who is usually by your side can make familiar traditions feel incomplete, no matter how much cheer surrounds you.
Finding joy when you’re alone during holiday deployments is not about pretending the distance does not exist. It is about shaping the season in ways that bring comfort, connection, and meaning despite the separation. It means giving yourself permission to both feel the longing and still embrace moments of light. While the situation is never easy, it can also become a time to rediscover personal resilience and create new traditions that remain long after the deployment ends.
Acknowledge the Weight of the Season
Holidays carry emotional weight because they represent togetherness. When a partner, spouse, or close friend is deployed, the gap feels larger than ever. Some days you might be fine, while others bring unexpected waves of emotion—triggered by a song, a movie, or even a favorite dish.
Acknowledging that this season will feel different allows you to approach it with realistic expectations. You can release the pressure of making it perfect and instead focus on making it meaningful. Feeling sadness does not erase the joy that still exists; it simply means you are human. The more you give yourself grace, the easier it becomes to recognize the small moments that still bring comfort.
Stay Connected Across the Miles
Connection may look different during deployment, but it is still possible to bridge the distance. Video calls, voice notes, and care packages offer tangible ways to keep your bond strong. Setting a specific day or time each week for a call can give you both something to look forward to, even if it is brief.
Many couples and families also find joy in shared traditions that cross time zones. You might watch the same movie from different locations or cook the same holiday meal while chatting online. Even when your loved one is far away, these moments remind you both that you are still part of each other’s celebrations.
Create New Traditions for This Year
When familiar routines feel empty without your loved one, creating new ones can help fill the gap. These do not need to replace the old traditions—they simply serve as placeholders until you can share them again in person.
You might volunteer at a local shelter, bake cookies for neighbors, or host a small holiday gathering with friends who understand deployment life. Some people start memory projects, like writing one letter a day to be read when the deployment ends. Others plan themed photo albums or create countdown calendars filled with personal notes. Each activity becomes a reminder that you still have agency over how you experience the season.
Lean on Your Support Network
Spending time with people who understand your situation can make a world of difference. Whether it is fellow military spouses, supportive friends, or family members, leaning on your community is not a sign of weakness—it is a sign of strength.
Consider joining local or online groups that focus on deployment support. These spaces often share resources, organize holiday meet-ups, and provide a safe place to vent without judgment. Sometimes, the simple act of being around people who truly “get it” can ease the loneliness and help you navigate the season with more confidence.
Embrace Acts of Self-Care
During a holiday deployment, it can be easy to focus all your energy on keeping traditions alive or supporting others. But you also need to care for yourself. Self-care looks different for everyone—it might mean quiet mornings with coffee, long walks, trying a new hobby, or setting aside time for journaling.
Making space for yourself does not mean you are ignoring your loved one’s absence. It means you are strengthening your own foundation so you can handle the challenges that come with deployment. Prioritizing your well-being also helps you approach each day with a little more patience and clarity.
Find Joy in the Small Things
Sometimes joy comes in grand moments, but more often it lives in the smallest details—a warm drink on a cold day, the sound of a favorite song, or the way holiday lights reflect off fresh snow. The absence of your loved one might make the season quieter, but it can also make you more aware of the beauty in these small things.
You might discover new favorite traditions in the process. Perhaps you develop a love for winter walks at dusk, or you start attending community concerts you never had time for before. By intentionally seeking out these experiences, you begin to see that joy and longing can exist side by side.
Another Good Read: My Favorite Home Comforts During PCS Season
Recommended Comforts to Brighten the Season
While emotional tools are essential, having a few physical comforts can make a big difference during the holidays. If you find yourself spending quiet evenings at home, a soft throw blanket and a good book can bring warmth and peace.
Here are a few items worth considering:
- Lightweight holiday decorations that make your space feel festive without overwhelming it. ($8, Amazon)
- A travel journal to capture your thoughts, which you can share with your loved one later. ($9, Amazon)
- A care package kit so you can send small surprises to your deployed family member. ($29, Amazon)
These items will not replace your loved one’s presence, but they can make your environment more nurturing and uplifting.
Let Go of “Perfect”
Perfection is an illusion, especially during deployment. Social media might tempt you to compare your holiday to others, but remember that those images rarely show the whole picture. Your version of the holidays may not look like a magazine cover, yet it can still hold deep meaning.
This year might be about smaller gatherings, quieter nights, and simpler meals. That is not a sign of less—it is a reflection of where you are right now. When you release the idea of perfect, you create space for authentic moments that are often far more memorable.
Hold on to Hope for Next Year
One of the hardest parts of deployment during the holidays is knowing that this season will end differently than it began. While you cannot fast-forward to the reunion, you can remind yourself that the separation is temporary. Keeping plans for the next holiday season in your mind—whether that means a big family gathering or a quiet weekend away—can help you look ahead with hope.
Many people find comfort in planning small post-deployment celebrations. This could be as simple as booking a dinner at your favorite restaurant or setting aside a weekend for a getaway once your loved one is home. Looking forward gives you a sense of purpose, even during the quietest moments of the season.
Conclusion
Finding joy when you’re alone during holiday deployments is not about erasing the reality of distance. It is about meeting the season with a mix of compassion, creativity, and resilience. It is about building connections in new ways, leaning on the people who understand your journey, and embracing the traditions—both old and new—that give the holidays meaning.
While the absence of a loved one is never easy, it can open the door to a deeper appreciation of the moments you still have. And when the next holiday season arrives with your loved one home, you will carry with you the lessons, strength, and quiet joys discovered in the one you faced apart.
